


Touch my world with your fingertips

by LuckyRedBalloon



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Comfort, Crowley had a crush on Freddie Mercury, Grief/Mourning, M/M, The Bentley knows and understands, maybe not romantically but in a very very human way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 17:03:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20100622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyRedBalloon/pseuds/LuckyRedBalloon
Summary: "And did you ever met him? I mean, more privately, at a party perhaps?", there was just general curiosity in Aziraphales voice."No. I guess I could have but when I thought about it, I never...uh."___I went to an open air concert two days ago, a band covered songs from Queen for two hours and while I listened I had a lot of feelings. That's the result.





	Touch my world with your fingertips

**Author's Note:**

> I want to apologise for mistakes, English is not my first language.

**Having a good time, I don't wanna stop at all**

"Well, they certainly have a good time."

Crowley grinned and took another sip of wine. Aziraphales words came with a smile and held just the slightest hint of irritation. He knew the song well enough along with every other one from Queen, thanks to the Bentley and its stubbornness. It was not the kind of music he could be interested in but driving around with Crowley (or being drived around to be honest) made it hard not learn every line of the lyrics.

"Yeah...even if they are not the real thing. Good guitar solos though. And points for the effort, the clothes and all that.", Crowley thought himself generous with his comment. It wasn't easy not to judge harshly when it came to a bunch of people who tried very hard to make a tribute to Queen. There were high standards and truth to be told, the voice of the singer didn't reach his expectations. But to be fair, nobody could achieve that goal, Freddie Mercurys voice was impossible to imitate.  
Still, it was a nice enough concert and not a wasted evening.

Aziraphale and Crowley had travelled for several months now, enjoying the fact of being alive and free and with an averted Armageddon behind them. Aziraphale had the idea to celebrate with a vacation after the first few weeks without any more signs from Heaven or Hell and with the waned caution, Crowley had agreed to a tour across Europe without a goal or a time table.  
They had stayed in several countries so far, revisited familiar places, traded old memories and created new ones. It took some time for both of them to let this new freedom sink into their minds. They shared every meal now, sleept in the same bed at night (Aziraphale read mostly, while Crowley did the sleeping part) and sometimes they held hands while they strolled through the streets. Neither of them commented on this sign of affection, it came naturally and didn't require discussion.

Now they sat on the roof of a high building in Leipzig, Germany and looked down at the marketplace. A big stage had been build, since there was a music festival for the whole week which would cover a lot of artists from different genres during the next days. It was a spontaneous idea to attend the concert and since it was rather crowded - locals and tourists alike enjoyed the slightly cooler evening on a Friday night after the pressing heatwave - they decided to move to a more secluded place.

Aziraphale had a point. The people were entertained by the band, especially the guitarist had a way to animate the audience with his gestures and a bright smile.

"Did you attend a lot of the concerts back then?", asked Aziraphale after Crowleys remark on the performance. He refilled the glasses and leaned back again.

"Yeah, a few. Never got bored, the music was great and they really knew how to make a good show. And Freddie, when he entered the stage...", Crowleys words faltered for a few seconds and he made some vague gestures with one hand, "He was so alive, you know? Vibrant. It was a great...he was great."  
There was a slight heat, creeping up his face. Thankfully it was already too dark for Aziraphale to see, or so Crowley hoped. He realized that this was the first time he actually spoke about the singer behind the music they were forced to listen while driving (except when they remembered to buy some new music during the travelling).

The first tunes of 'I want to break free' started and the audience was on fire as the singer entered the stage again, this time with the fitting wig and outfit. Points for effort again.

"And did you ever met him? I mean, more privately, at a party perhaps?", there was just general curiosity in Aziraphales voice.

"No. I guess I could have but when I thought about it, I never...uh.", there was another gesture with the hand, before Crowley scratched his neck. "I never came up with something to say to him.", he ended and the lame explanation left him with more embarrassment.  
Quickly Crowley snatched his wine glas and took a good swig. He HAD thought about it. A lot, in fact. But something had held him back everytime, which was stupid, really. Crowley walked his way trough the history of mankind and he never had a problem to approach a place or a person when he was interested. Sometimes it was work related but often his curiosity had lead to the more memorable acquaintances.  
Still, attending the concerts was one thing. He could blend into the crowd and get lost in the music like the rest, let the songs wash over him with closed eyes. Or he spend the entire time watching Freddie Mercury, mesmerized by his kind of magic, such a rare gift among humans.  
However, actually speaking to him was difficult when everything he wanted to say sounded weak and flimsy. The memory held the same embarrassment he felt when he tried to find the courage to seek Freddie out. It came also with the same familiar slight frustration. He had been just a human, after all.

"Oh, you sound a little bit smitten.", Aziraphale smiled, but his words held no mocking tone. Nevertheless, Crowley gave him an appalled look.

"I wasn't _smitten_!", he spat out, but his heating face and his pitched voice betrayed him. He put the glas down with more force then intended.  
"That's not...ngh...I mean...! There was just nothing I could have said to him what he didn't already heard on a daily basis. Why should I even bothered to met him just to say something like 'Oh dude, cool music and stuff, keep up the good work blablabla', that's just...stupid and not worth it and...really Aziraphale, smitten is just...you're totally wrong here.", Crowley finally managed to look at Aziraphale again and his face made him shut up.

The angel looked at him with the most gentle smile, unbearable almost and his eyes shone. But there was also sadness in his mimic and Crowley squirmed uncomfortable. He huffed and reached for the wine again but Aziraphale was quicker and took his hand.

"It is not a bad thing Crowley. To get attached.", Crowley opened his mouth, probably for the next string of outrageous words, but Aziraphale squeezed his hand firmly.  
"We've spend so much time on earth and spoke so often about the great minds of humanity and their inventions and how we enjoy it. There is nothing wrong with our indulgence for some of these things.", he made a gesture with his free hand to the marketplace, a perfect scenario for his statement.  
"Or to develop a stronger affection for a human, if we cherish their existence."

"That's not...really angel, this is embarrassing, shut up, please."

"And mourn when they die."

Crowley bit his lips. He wanted to protest. Aziraphale exaggerated and it irritated him. He might understood, like Crowley, that humanity was worth to be saved from Armageddon, and it felt good to be able to share this emotion since no other angel or demon would ever be able to understand it.  
But right now it became too intimate and Crowley felt suddenly vulnerable under the watchful, accepting eyes. He looked down.

There was a sting. He didn't want to feel it, but it was there. It had been there on the 24th of November in 1991, but Crowley had shoved it away back then and just moved on. He did his job, yelled at some plants and met Aziraphale occasionally. Just another day of his eternal life with no room for a loss that he didn't have the right to feel.

"I didn't mourn.", he muttered, still stubborn but his voice almost vanished in the music.  
He was sure, Aziraphale would start another little lecture about how it was perfectly fine to have fucking feelings and Crowley was ready to snap at him to shut him up before he could start. Instead, Aziraphale leaned closer and let his hand go to touch his cheek with gentle fingers.

"Why not, Crowley?"

He didn't answer. 

'_Because I'm a demon, I don't mourn the death of one single human. There a billions that died during all the years and he was just one of them. We met so many people, they're all dead, it's part of being mortal, they vanish within a blink of the eye._'

How did they even ended up in this kind of conversation and why was this sting still blooming in his chest with such heaviness?

They remained silent. Aziraphale removed his fingers but leaned his head against Crowleys and they both looked down at the stage again for some minutes. Crowley let his gaze wander to the people around it. Some of them were old enough to remember him. Maybe they had seen him live somewhere. Many were too young, born after 1991 or barley some years before. There were also some children. They would never get the chance to see him. Videos didn't count, it wasn't the same. Crowley knew that.  
But here they were. Generations of humans, dancing alone or together, singing along and sharing the joy of music by a man who died almost thirty years ago.

"They cherish the memory of him. There is so much love here Crowley.", Aziraphales voice was soft.

"They are humans, it's what they do. This is not-"

"Our side?"

It should feel like a low blow and Crowley wanted to be angry. Instead the sting exploded with a pang in his stomach.

The next song started. It was 'Who wants to live forever'.  
Crowley heard the first lines and despite not being Freddie Mercury, the singer managed a bittersweet voice to lead the crowd into the much slower song. He saw electric candles and lighters. More and more emerged until the place was transformed into a little ocean of lights, swaying slightly to the left and right. Crowleys vision began to blur. 

**Who wants to live forever  
Who dares to love forever**

'_I wish you could see this._', he thought and pressed his lips together. '_You should know how these people feel for you, even now and they won't stop. You became a legend and they will remember you forever. If I would have known back then...well, I would have something to say to you, right? Not this stupid stuff I came up with. How you made me feel when you burned so brightly on the stage and how your words spoke so much to me. You understood. I felt not so alone anymore when I listened to you. And look at them now, they feel it too, even if they never will meet you. You should know, you should know, I wish you would know..._'

**Touch my world with your fingertips**

Aziraphale felt it. The little tingle on his cheek as the first tear made its way downwards. He didn't move away, instead he placed his arm around Crowleys shoulders and felt the trembling muscles.  
Crowleys lungs protested. He didn't need the air but right now he was forced to take a deep breath and when he let it go again, a shaky sob escaped also. More tears passed down and he bend his head to lean on Aziraphales shoulder. His arms embraced Crowley tight.

**And we can have forever  
And we can love forever**

Hundred of voices became one when almost everyone of the people sang along. Crowley couldn't stop the sobs and gave up to swallow them. He lifted one arm slightly and opened his hand, palm showing upwards. His fingers shook and then there was Aziraphales hand to steady it.  
A tiny flame emerged from the palm. One light more, just among so many. One small tribute more to show gratitude and reverence.

Aziraphale kissed his temple and held him until the song ended and the flame vanished with a last flicker.

____

"Shall I put on some music?"

They were on their way to Prague. Crowley made a vague noise of approving. 

"Do we still have something that's not older than a fortnight?"

"I'm afraid not, dear. We forgot to replenish our stash in Leipzig. But it is not a long drive I believe and when the traffic stays this light-"

"'S okay angel, just...put some music on."

Aziraphale hesitated but then he did as Crowley told. Seconds later, the tender sounds of a piano filled the car. It was definitely not Queen. They both looked irritated at the dashboard.

"That's Chopin."

"But we bought it back in France, over a month ago. I clearly remember, you tossed the coin and it was heads for me."

Crowley didn't answer. He gave the Bentley another look before he had to concentrate on the road again. Driving on the right lane was still a challenge. They let the music fill the car and talked about the sights in Prague they wanted to see.

____

In a store in Prague, the staff was enamoured by the two men who had spent four hours so far in different aisles full with music. They didn't settle on one genre, instead they went back and forth, bickering, arguing and tossing coins.

Finally they came to the counter with a pile of over twenty discs.

"Oi, wait a moment."

The man with the red hair and the sunglasses went to the classic rock section. He didn't take long, just after a few seconds he came with another disc and the cashier thought his choice fitted him. His partner gave him an almost angelic smile and then reached for his hand to squeeze it. The cashier couldn't see redheads eyes through the glasses, but his facial expression was enough to made her suppress a happy sigh.  
With intertwined fingers, and redhead caring the bag with their purchase, they left.

**Author's Note:**

> The band that played is called MerQury. They were very good! I might have exaggerated a little bit (there were not that many lights during 'Who wants to live forever'), otherwise the evening comes very close to the descriptions.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it, kudos are very appreciated and comments make my day!


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